When Toddlers Do This, We Do That

In my deep heart, the best education for a child comes from direct interactions with parents. Since I've enjoyed learning new parenting techniques on raising kids, I decided to publicize my notes from books, articles, and other things.

I've intentionally kept each of them very short because I myself get quite annoyed if I have to read through a whole article to get to try something out.

Do keep in mind that every child is different, so don't worry if these techniques are not working as expected. Have patience, take them as references, and adjust accordingly.

When Toddlers Say "No" to Everything


Toddlers are stubborn because they've just started to understand they have something called "wants". In their development, they're still figuring out a lot of things, like if they want to be independent, or how their parents would react, so the easiest way to react? Say "no" to see what happens next. This way they learn about cause and effect.

What to do

As parents, we definitely want to raise our kids to be independent-thinker. So what we tend to do is to ask open-ended questions and give them space to be creative. This results in "No" because at such a young age, toddlers are not ready to make decisions just yet.

Rather than asking "What do you want to do today?" and hope that they'd run towards the story books, if we can give them choices like "Do you want to play ball or do coloring?" The toddler can make decisions and feel in control.

When Toddlers Are Throwing Tantrums


They are always testing the water to see what can bring them success, so they throw tantrums to see if they can get a hug, TV, or love.

What to do

If we run over to comfort our child when she throws tantrum, she wins. And she will use this tactic over and over again on us. We simply have to strategically ignore it until the child feels that her tantrum isn't going to succeed.